i am not a wallflower

Well my husband happens to be my best friend. well most the time let me rephrase that. but honestly he knows me best. we have our moments from time to time. like half of today.. which was shitty but we always get through it.. 

so we have arguments normal right? everyone does don’t they? if you don’t argue i feel as if maybe you don’t care enough to push buttons and test limits because sometimes that is how you know someone does care.

today was a little more intense tho. not voiolent or anything before anyone starts assuming. but just more stress than average. im working 52 hours this week. adam is mr mom for now. which is fine. thats actually okay. but have you ever just felt as if you wanted space from someone but then hate to be away? 

it doesn’t make since i know. but honestly that how im feeling. i love him to death but at the same time im beyond irritated with him and want to have a night away. well i think the fact we live with his mom doesn’t help us with the stress of life and two children and a dog named wilfred.

ahhh Wilfred thats a whole another post waiting to happen.

we dont even argue over substantial things merely irreverent silly off hand things such as texts. not a sext or a flitry text. but, texts to friends or other family ect. or who gets to have alone time as im writing this its my bed time baby is asleep but i just enjoy checking this word press. 😀 but, ill continue..

So anyways as it goes on we just tend to irritate each other by not letting the other one do something they ask to do. which isnt a issue honestly its the fact we are both stubborn and have to have the last word. the fact we both cant just let it go.

but here is my two cents..

im just going to from now on agree to disagree. as part of my new years resoultion was to be a better person and mother and also cut negative situations and people out of my life im going to have to stick with that and more forward and do so because arguments and getting stressed doesnt help anyone nor does it fix anything.

as i write this im less and less mad but still i just want space and this blog as close as it gets lately.. 

but time will only tell and we have only been married a year so far relationship longer but still.. short amount of time did all these things get married, have baby, move 4 times.. too too much in so little time has only overwhelmed us both and both of us need to find our inner peace and happiness needs to be exposed or i fear you will loose who you really once were and i refuse to be that person so this marks the day that i will do as i please i will do things on my own and i will put my feelings first. not before my kids but my spouce is important but so am i.

I will not let someone else decide things for me 

I am my own person and i am myself. That will not change.

My outlook and thoughts may very from time to time but i will always be me. cass. I am a mom, a wife. lover and this is my life.

I am happy in my own skin and my relationship will reflect it.

I will not be negative. I will npt whine. I will appericiate life more and those in it. 

i am not a wallflower i am a shining star. and ill shine bright.

no one can dull my sparkle. i am me. i am happy

you need to find yourself. 

love yourself..

it will change your perspective on life.

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