this is all things either a co worker, friend, family member, client or even random strangers had told me. Thought I’d just put this here for all you to laugh at.
Sleep when the baby sleeps.
Then who will clean my house? Is that an offer?
“Good things come to those who wait” oh do tell me..
Oh so me working my ass off had nothing to do with it right?
When driving, keep an equal amount of distance between the car in front of you and the car behind you. It’ll keep traffic from building up.
Let me guess you don’t have a brain right?
Don’t ever change
So don’t ever self improve 😉
Do what you love and let it kill you
So sex drugs and rock n roll
Being in love means never having to say im sorry
Im lot.. And because husbands just agree to everyone 😂
Shave your daughters head her hair will get thicker
Or she will be traumatized
Keep that baby awake all day
Because you want to hear a screaming baby?
Don’t eat you will loose weight
And die… Ha!
You rock the mom look
I don’t have a mom look i have a me look… Bitches…
Oh it’s ok to be messy your a mom
No, im not always a hot mess douche bag😑
Do what you love and fuck the rest
Hm, sounds nice but who’s paying for my Hawaii trip?
You should quit your job be a stay at home mom 24/7
I love my kids, I really do but theirs a point and time where you need a break or part time job which counts as a break in my opinion!
If you can’t get a job get pregnant
So I can have a kid and no money? Ah, sounds like a super idea.